Grief, Hope & Pumpkin Spice Lattes: Finding Comfort After Loss
- Jolene Siemens
- 5 days ago
- 2 min read
Loss…
At some point, reality insists that everyone will grieve. Losing someone can feel surreal yet overwhelmingly intense. In 2017, a close friend passed away after nearly two decades of friendship. She was a confidant and an integral part of life. Then, in the winter of 2019, a father also passed. In their last phone call, he mentioned he was “gathering his rosebuds,” a phrase that resonated deeply as he tried to make the most of his remaining time by connecting with loved ones during a challenging period of treatment. Less than two months later, he was gone. It felt unfair not to have the chance to share simple moments—like walks with the dog, enjoying his cooking, or listening to his playful songs.
After…
In the wake of these losses, there was a tendency to immerse oneself in work and studies as a distraction from grief. While sadness was present, it was easier to focus on responsibilities as a parent, partner, and friend. Grief was kept at bay, but eventually, feelings of unrest emerged, prompting reflection on whether these emotions were more than just sadness.
Grief can be insistent, surfacing unexpectedly during daily activities. One particularly overwhelming moment occurred while working outside with children; a notification about a pumpkin spice latte triggered a wave of emotion. This drink had once been shared with a friend, and its mere mention became a painful reminder of loss. After this incident, seeking support and reading about grief became essential.
Lessons learned: the importance of embracing memories and emotions rather than pushing them away. Enjoying a pumpkin spice latte again symbolized reconnecting with those memories, along with fond recollections of time spent with a father that extended beyond moments of suffering.
Love…
With big love comes big grief. Dad had a tattoo that simply said, “I LOVE.” The meaning behind it was unclear, but it embodied the essence of his affection. As the tattoo faded, it served as a reminder of the love shared, without needing further elaboration. With big love comes big grief.
Hope…
Some say grief comes in waves, and while there's no right or wrong way to navigate it, the emotional experience can be challenging. It also feels like you are wandering through a forest and while you know which way to go, sometimes you feel lost. It can sometimes feel like there is no other choice but to keep putting one foot in front of the other until something looks or feels familiar. But with that familiarity comes some hope. Hope and meaning for the future.
Grief Activities: In our work at Off the Beaten Path, we will often look at a number of ways to walk the journey of grief with you. Together in session or alone on your own, here are some activities that might be helpful:
